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Originally Posted by Claritytoo
What you say is so true. I have been feeling that I have become indesivive and more emotional, both of which I view as weakness. This feeling of weakness start to make me think I am becoming defenseless. I have little ones who want to go to therapy because they see it as a way of being able to talk to someone. But some of my protecters see it as leaving us open to attack. The difficulty is in some way they are right. But so are the little ones. I recently went back to work part time and have to be a particular way. It made me feel strong and safer and grounded like I used to. But the part who works doesn't have the other stuff that makes us a whole. He is part of who I am but not all of us. I know therapy has helped us, and I now it would be unkind and unfair to ignore what the little ones need. I just feel exhausted. What you have said has been a great help and also helps me to understand that my struggle is not unique. That others have gone through the same thoughts and feelings. Thanks.
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Thank you Claritytoo, for sharing your struggle and challenges with me. It means a lot. You are very brave and you will emerge stronger than you can imagine.
Just sharing an idea I have for me. I have decided to devote some time to helping others on a daily basis. I will be joining an NGO this week.
This has been something I've been worried about for years. I always wanted to do it, since I was a kid. But I was scared I'd have a breakdown in front of someone who needed support and understanding. I said to myself I'd be a horrible volunteer. I thought what would be worse than to see someone who's supposed to have it together, someone you'd expect to be happy and sorted, cry like a baby for your pain or for theirs.
So I decided that I needed to sort all my problems before I'd be ready to help someone else. But only this year I realized, life will always be a beautiful mess. I guess it's like that for everyone.. people who go through unreasonable pain are more aware and feel more than the rest. Sometimes, we get so carried away feeling our own pain, we stop noticing the beauty and kindnesses showered on us by our own people or strangers on the street or online. I met AmandaLouise here a few days ago.. and she helped me. In her replies, she seemed upset and at first I thought she was rather rude. But she helped me. Probably a lot more than anyone here could have. With her time, patience and intent. I think that's all that people need on a hard day. Someone who takes time to listen and respond. Of course, her knowledge helped too.
She has inspired me even more to now start helping others. I might cry and think I'm a failure.. but I will be real and that can't be that bad. I will take baby steps and start with
an easy group of people.. take advice from my Therapist too about this. But i'm fuelled to do this.
Thank you again for telling me about you. Also, the scary emotions will lose their power.