I messed up...badly. I went to camp for about a month, and didn't harm myself the entire time. When I got back, about another week passed with no self-harm. Then, a few days later, I got my blade out and made about 100 small (some are deep) cuts on my stomach and breasts. I've been putting some anti-bacterial cream on the deep ones, but I feel so horrible and guilty that I slipped up. I promised my T that I would throw my blades away, and I didn't. I feel so disgusting.