<font color="purple"> Thank you all for your wonderful support - I've been isolating for a few days which is not good I know - I've been thinking about everyone's responses - I've never had so much understanding and support before. I do have supportive friends but nothing like the support (and total understanding) there is in this forum - nothing can compare. It's Saturday around 8:30pm and I can finally say that I feel less depressed enough to actually read my email. Still struggling with the sleep routine - sometimes I am so stubborn and won't go to bed because I want to read something or look up things on the internet - does anyone else have this stubborn streak?
Oh, the results from the "fit for duty" report must have been received by human resources from the pdoc who "interviewed" me Tuesday - guess my agency has decided that they will approve a formal leave even though I am a "potential liability" to the agency and my pdoc will be required to send in reports every two weeks - then their pdoc will interview me again. I don't know if they'll ever be convinced - I need to believe in myself and my abilities and, as polarbear, Meta, Bizi, and bipolar_bear have all mentioned - focus on taking care of myself. Thank you, Deb </font>