Echoes, I hope your session went well. I'm a bit late with this.

For the most of the last year and a half, only the adult shows up at therapy. For a good portion of that time, it was even more than the adult-- it was the therapy colleague. I never wanted him to see me as a "patient."

The child has peeked out at times, in childish glares when I'm angry with him, or the way I refuse to look in his eyes, instead continuously fidgeting with a button or the lid of the cup I'm holding.

Lately, the colleague has made less appearances, and the adult is beginning to break down.

In fact, we spent a large portion of the last session actually talking about why I feel like a child.

I don't want the child to come through in session. I can talk about the child, but I don't want her to show her behavior in front of him. That might mean crying, and I don't cry in front of him. So when I have strong emotions, I show the "tough" side. It's somewhere between the adult and the child, but more like a defense so the child doesn't come out. I guess it is pretty childish, but at least I don't cry.