Quote:
Originally Posted by bluedolphin92
Ugh. So after I made this thread my mom sent me this message on Facebook
"Hi, so sorry not the greatest chat on Skype this week. I know Dad got bummed because of you not being able to come home. I know you have to do the bird thing and all but he does get upset sometimes because he does miss you and all and he feels like you don't make the effort to show that you care about us by coming home. He gets upset and then I have to listen to the stuff he says and then that gets me upset and depressed. So like this time he made some comment about cutting you off after we got done talking to you. So even though he might SAY to you that he understands you have stuff you have to do for school and all he still gets hurt and depressed about it. I know you are at school and all and have things you want to do, but that doesn't make things any easier on us."
("the bird thing" is referring to my research assistant stuff, btw)
I really don't know what they want from me  . How can they say I'm not making an effort when I said I was planning on coming home for his birthday, which is only 2 weeks later? Why do they see the holiday as more important than his birthday? It seems that their idea of "making an effort" includes putting my own life on hold just so I can go home and sit around the house with them.
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Sounded like your mom, venting to you, in that post, which spells out her own marital strife.
Do what makes you, happy.
If you'd like to see, two days of fireworks, do so, because you want to enjoy two days of festivities. Otherwise, your call to stand back, and follow through on your plans on your terms.
Whilst labels are tossed about...
Bpd dad, codep mom???
Labels matter less. Guilt trips do leave us, feeling awful on the inside, though intellectually we see it as it is.
Not entirely uncommon, for empty nesting parents to latch on. Do you have siblings to call for support?
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