If was only that simple. See, I had problems since I was young, but doctor care was not something I did not have growing up unless it was an absolute emergency. So I've lived my adult life the same way. During that time, what should have been a life was nothing more than surviving, never able to jump on the merry go round of "happy and memorable" life. Having said that, now I sit and realize why, and I realize that there really is no legitimate reason to be alive. It's caught up with me.

The lyrics to Metallica - "One" probably would explain it much better than I can.