i have been to friends tonight. we got onto the subject of me being on here a lot.

my friend asked me if she could read my life story (which i wrote one night out of desperation.)

she is reading it tomorrow. i have things that are very deep that i haven't written in my story.

no one on this planet knows about some of the things i experienced.

i'm too ashamed to tell anyone which is why i'm waiting to see a proper pdoc.

i've been really triggered tonight with memories and i feel so ashamed. do i tell my friend everything? things i haven't even told my husband? i'm afraid she will back off and wont be able to deal with it.

i feel like i'm in hell right at this moment in time. deep deep things are so close to the surface. only myself and the abuser know what i am talking about.

i've never mentioned some particular details to anyone.

please help me

jinny xoxoxoxoxox