Giving up, I tried my best to stay stable, but its just not happening. I have so much to organise before I can go in. Dont know how I will get everything done and oraganised.

Edit, my neighbour helped me with a few things. I have an appointment for tomorrow, with the view to being admitted. Feel like such a failure but I am calmer now I know I have the appointment and know I only have to get through another 24 hours until then.