God, I can so relate to this. At the time I had absolutely no idea it was abuse. I knew it made me feel sick and self conscious and ashamed of myself, but i would never have blamed HIM, it was always ME. Looking back now, there is no chance of him abusing me again, and i am beginning to 'categorise' it as abuse, although it is very hard for me and I only just revealed it to my T.
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