Awwh, %#@&#!. Just when I thought things were getting normal again... I have to have another panic attack. Dammit dammit dammit... forgive my cursing, I know it's unseemly but it actually helps as a stress reliever.

I knew it was coming, too. Over the past two days I've felt it building, and today it just hit me... crying, trying not to scream, curling up with the physical tension, biting my arms again (that's tough with braces, lemme tell ya!)... this one wasn't all that bad, which made it almost worse--I had enough wits about me to vaguely want to SI again. :O Not cool, obviously.

Beh. I just feel silly. I don't even know if it was really a "panic attack". Is it normal to be able to snap out of your attacks long enough to have several-minute interactions with other people? I can do that, but as soon as I'm alone again it all comes crashing down. Could just be bad Pre-MS... I think. I don't know what to think. At least it's over (for tonight). Forecast for tomorrow... doesn't look great. Again, beh.

thank you so much for listening
(you all are amazing that way!),
~muse