I'm not entirely sure how to put my thoughts into words so I apologize for any nonsense.

I was every bit 'that' borderline not so long ago and I have done some truly horrible things in my efforts to be loved but something I am learning is that we do not necessarily equal our actions.

The action was bad but we acted out of a feeling of honesty. That you regret your actions says that you're a good person despite what you may or may not have done.

I don't know how to fix it. I'm only really just reaching that place myself but I guess as long as you are willing to look at your actions and try to understand why you do them and in turn change then you are on the right path because in the end we are the only one's who can take responsibility for ourselves.