hmm, to describe OCD..so many of us have it, and yet the description for each will vary in so many ways.

OCD is urgency, unrelenting fear, uncertainty, repetition, checking, rechecking, counting, repeating, time consuming.

For myself, OCD is: imagine having a thought pop into your head that made you feel uncomfortable. In order to turn this thought "off", you had to repeat it exactly (and i mean EXACTLY) the way you thought it the first time, and if you didn't then you'd have to start over. However, you can't start over with the original thought, you have to start over with the NEW modified thought, complete that one first, and then go back to the original thought. Sometimes it's hard to control your mind, so you cannot force your mind to think the thoughts exactly the same each time, so you end up with a spiral effect of thoughts that just grows and grows until you can get each and every one of them completed perfectly until you get to the original one.

Then..sometimes you have to do this in certain numbers...or patterns of numbers. For me, a 1 is on and a 2 is off, but I often have to work in "sets" so a 1 and a 2 is a "1" and another 1 and a 2 is another "1" which would equal a 2 overall.

Not completing these thoughts makes you feel like nothing will be right until you get through them. For me, if I just half way complete one, or don't complete it exactly, then I get this unshakable feeling like my fears are true, so I have to give in and work the problem until I get the desired result.

Problem is, I can spend hours just repeating thoughts in my head, and my mind can't focus, so I have a real problem trying to repeat images with precise exactness, which means there are alot of variations in the images, which I have to systematically repeat in a certain order so that I can end up back to the original thought, and try to complete it so I get some relief from my anxiety.

Here's the kicker. Myself, and probably everyone else with OCD KNOWS that this behavior is senseless and not necessary, yet we cannot simply let it go. For some reason, our minds tell us that we MUST do these things, even though our rational brains tell us that we dont have to, but fear and anxiety takes over and controls us in a way that causes us to lose precious time in our lives. It distracts us from work and causes us to miss out on life, and the things in life that really matter. It causes us to miss out on fun things that we could be doing, and if we are doing activities that would normally be fun, we are hindered because we don't seem to get the joy out of it like everyone else.

Take me for example. My OCD stems from the fear of being homosexual. I know I like women, but not knowing if I like men or not triggers alot of unwanted thoughts and triggers alot of thought patterns in order to clear anxiety I am feeling. If I see a good looking guy, then I have to check myself to see how that makes me feel. I often then put myself in sexual situations with guys in my mind, to try to see how I react to that, to see how it makes me feel. If it doesn't affect me, or if I feel indifferent toward it, then I begin to worry because I think I should have gotten a grossed out or repulsive feeling toward it. The problem is, when I envision those sexual situations, I have to repeat them (as described above), and if I don't, then, ill feel like my fear is true.

anyway, you wanted to know what OCD is like....i'm sure there is no ONE way to explain it, but im sure all of us could give you some examples that will give you a taste of what it's like.