<font color="#000088"> </font> Jinny,
PM me if I can help you through my experience. I have gone through this very situation with friends and the lesson I have learned is: once you share it you can't take it back. Relationships change and evolve over time, and I know this all too well. I wish I could take back some of what I've shared at times since my abuse, and with hind site so clear I regret having shared with people I was intimate with as everyone of these individuals who supposedly "loved me" soooooo darn much at other times, then used it as a pathetic way to attack me in the end.

Character attacks are one thing when difficulties arise in relationships but when it is used as a weapon to destroy us with the power to revictimize, then we can get emotions rolling around that are fuelled by circumstances unrelated to our abuse, but a great target to use to try to break us down for self centered purposes by these deteriorated relationships.

I don't usually post but I share this because I know it too well, and offer it as something to think about as you apply it to how it fits with your situation now, and possible future difficulties that could come as a result?

I have learned that I easily take the hand of a friend who offers it and willingly share my story with someone who could benefit or use my story as a means to understand it's affects which are usually left to more intimate or strong personal relationships. Yet again, relationships change and if they get bad for other reasons, it is easy and natural to blow where the blow is felt the hardest. In time, you learn to protect what needs to be protected.

I have never been a proponent of keeping what my perpetrator did to me qiet, not even at the very hour my life was in the balance because IMO that feeds into EXACTLY what he wants and I would rather die than sit in any of that torture to my mind and soul and allow another human to silence me so they don't feel the consequences of the truth of their crime/abuse to me and others like me. He said he would kill me and people I loved if I moved an inch or spoke a word, yet the results are that I am alive with truth and support around me and I am thankful for the flight response and innate ability to run for possible safety despite the consequences of those real threats being carried out. He now sits in prison behind bars and his list of victims stop gaining names for awhile as society is protected for this time and the system has a clearer picture of what is easily hidden behind a mask of intelligence and charm.

If I could save you from any pain I went through I'd suggest that you discuss with a mental health professional or advocate in the field before you buy into what may in time be a more situational friendship or simply a person who there are questions regarding disclosing with them . Professionals are bound by law to confidentiality so you can be safe with that, but friendships can be too fickle even if it feels very strong and supportive right now. This is my opinion based on my experience only. But, I had to chime in if my situation could help you?