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Old Jun 30, 2014, 01:40 PM
baebae baebae is offline
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Member Since: Jun 2014
Location: United States
Posts: 1
Hey everyone! This is my first post here and I'm eager to hear your opinions.

My main concern is my sexuality, or lack there of. I'm an 18 year old girl, and I've known for a long time that I have no interest in guys, but I've always tried to push that thought to the side.

It was never a problem for me to avoid dating even though I adore the thought of romance. However, in the past year or two, I've tried relationships and it has become painfully obvious that something isn't right. I like the whole going on dates, cuddling, hand-holding, etc. but I don't really feel anything.

I've never felt anything kissing. There's only one guy I've gone further with and I absolutely hated it. It got to the point where even the thought of being alone with him made me stressed to the point of feeling sick. I know I can't go on pretending.

I'm starting to realize I've never had any sexual desire at all. I don't fantasize and I'm not sure I ever even had a crush, except for maybe once. I can get aroused but I never have in response to another person. I'm aware of asexuality and I fit the description, but for some reason I'm not satisfied with that answer? Maybe I just don't want to be alone...

I can't help but wonder if there's another reason behind it, like either a medical reason or the possibility that I'm a lesbian. I'm pretty healthy. The only thing is I do have endometriosis and a mthfr gene mutation. Can either of those cause low sexual desire? I've gotten blood work and my thyroid is normal. I wanted to talk about all of this with my doctor, but my aunt was in the room and I felt uncomfortable.

There's a few reasons why I wonder if I might be gay. The one crush I mentioned was on a girl, though I registered it as intense platonic admiration at the time. The attraction wasn't sexual, but looking back, I definitely felt something for her that I've never felt before or since (and I would love to feel that way again) I tend to notice girls' appearance more and think they are more attractive than guys. That's really it.

Sorry this is so long. I would just like some opinions because I don't feel like I can talk about this to anyone. I guess what I'm really asking is if it's likely my situation is caused by something medical or repressed sexuality, or if I just accept that I'm asexual. Thanks in advance
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Irrelevant221