After doing more research, including a few anonymous calls with *hypotheticals*, I have found being admitted would be a very BAD thing and only create more stressors as opposed to opening doors to treatment.
Regretful, in answer to your question of inpatient vs outpatient treatment, in a word " insurance". I can't afford the co-pay per session for outpatient services. I have gone intermittently over the years at times I was able to afford it. My thought was if I was treated inpatient my insurance company would view outpatient services more seriously and allow more consistent treatment.
As for my children, I found out through a series of calls that if I were admitted they would be placed in state funded foster care and statistically the chances of them ever returning to my care would be less than 10%. Essentially, I would be punished for seeking help.

I guess I'm just back to square one. More than ever, I now feel like I need to *hide* any sort of mental illness for fear of my earlier anonymous calls being traced back and my kids being taken! Grr....I think I just made my whole situation worse rather than better!