I know that I used to feel that way a lot and sometimes think about suicide or stop taking my meds and go back into psychosis where at least I had created a spiritual world that made sense. Though I have been better for four years now since diagnosed and hospitalized the thoughts still persisted when stress levels got to high or I felt like I had no purpose.
I am now a certified peer specialist. It's a new thing that's only been around for ten years. The purpose is that those of us that have recovered can help others recover because we have been there. I know that people I work with sometimes stay on meds because I tell them to stick it out it gets better.
I am very happy now because I work full-time helping others recover. If you can't do that find something to volunteer at. I think we need to feel as though we are doing something positive and helping others. It has given me purpose and completely changed my life.
That might be away of keeping it out of your pocket more than not. Well that's my story and I'm sticking to it. LOL!