Hi I'm still new here and I'm hoping someone can help me. I've always suffered from depression even as a preteen but was able to manage it most of the time but as I've gotten older it's got harder and harder I self medicated with alcohol for along time in my early twenties but I finally stopped because I realized it made my depression worse then I tried antidepressants but I never really took them everyday but a few years ago my depression was unbearable so I went back on antidepressants again only this time I take them exactly the way I'm supposed to I've been on 4or5 different ones different combinations and doses but nothing is working everything is a struggle for me even simple things like showering I go days sometimes a week at a time it's so gross and I don't know why it's so hard all I do is stay in bed for weeks months at a time nothing makes it better I hate waking up in the morning sometimes I curse God because I wake up and now my family thinks its them that's doing something wrong they say I act like I hate them but their my world the only reason I'm still breathing how do I convince them I love them and their not the problem it's me