It's a complicated thing. While reading your post I was thinking your father had all the "power" and you may not "idolize" him but be afraid of him. We often do opposite-seeming things when there's too much to deal with as children. Your mother wasn't "good enough" so you turned to your father; what if your father doesn't want you/rejects you? You have to be "good" for him and idolize him to keep him on your good side. Your therapist is just like your father in that respect; has the power and could "throw you out."

The answer, of course, is to take back our personal power; no one else should have that "control" over you. Seeing people for who they are -- your father is just a "man" as is your T -- and not as protection from "bad" mothers or from being abandoned, etc. is the goal. Neither your mother nor your father (nor your T :-) are part of your "current" struggles in life now that you're an adult. That's what the end results will be, the comfort of being here-and-now without the heavy transference and memories weighing you down and pulling you sideways :-)