If your previous husbands left you for 13 and 14 year old girls, then they are disgusting pedophiles. Most men aren't attracted to girls that young, and the few that are are deterred by laws banning sex between an adult and a child.

You have been through unspeakable pain and trauma. It only makes sense that you would see the world as bleak. But there is beauty in life! You need to give yourself the opportunity to experience it. You need to love yourself, even if you feel that no one else has ever loved you or could love you.

If your husband is worth having, he won't be seriously tempted by some sexy teenage girl. He already has you. You think that you're ugly, but I'm sure your husband sees you in a completely different light.