NZgirl,

I'm not a marriage counselor, and I strongly advise you talk to someone who is a professional but I might be able to offer some insights.

I've been married for 22 years and there have always been ups and downs. We even separated once, but he is still more than just my husband. He is my best friend first and foremost. My first thought was post-partum depression could have started your problems communicating with him and then maybe guilt or some other emotion was making you feel uncomfortable which led to you becoming uncomfortable with him. I could be totally off base here, but that's the first thing that popped into my head when I read your post.

Also, you don't mention how many children you have, but that can be a factor as well. The daily routine of caring for children can have a cooling effect on anyone's relationship both emotionally and physically.

Lots of couples have a tradition of 'date night'. If there's someone you have to watch the children for a few hours one night a week, it may give you and your husband the time and space you need to re-connect.

I hope this helps. Feel free to PM me if you'd like. I'm always around. Best wishes.

WW