(((((((((madmusician)))))))))))))

You're in a tough spot at the moment (what an understatement) and I know you feel like it's better to be alone ... it isn't, not really. It hurts when others hurt us, but at the same time I'm sure you'll find someone (a friend) who won't. Or at least we (at PC) won't.

Is there anyone IRL you can talk to? It sounds like you're dealing with too much by yourself.