I meant that it is normal for you to want to be independent and make choices for yourself about what you want to do, not that the way that your parents are acting is normal. You need to live your life, and it is great if your parents can be supportive and be a part of your life, but they don't need to control your life. That message that your mom sent you on FB is toxic, threatening that your dad might cut you off because they don't think you are making the effort they want you to in order to be the child that they still want you to be. That is going way too far. You should spend time with them if you want to, and do something else if you want to. As long as it works, they will keep using the guilt trip strategies. If every time they start that you end the conversation or leave and stay away for a while, they might stop doing it.

My parents never did get it, even after they crippled two of my sisters by convincing them that they couldn't grow up, and my brother died because he was convinced that he could never have a life. I hope that your parents are eventually able to respect your boundaries and encourage you to live your life. I don't know if they will ever change. If they don't, then you will need to get used to setting limits and walking out when they cross the line. I'm sorry.