PTSD is very tough to deal with, but you're right, you can't let the abusers win by giving up. You have the power now. You're not a victim, you're a survivor. There is someone in my group going through exposure therapy to deal with trauma righ now and I see it helping her in small ways already. She was basically housebound and now she is able to take walks around her apartment complex by herself. So coming to terms with trauma is possible and you can do it! We're all here for you!