NOBODY understands depression well - except those of us who have it. But the fact she is supportive is a huge plus.

IMO - If I were in your shoes - I would proceed with ECT. Clearly you are struggling badly and the meds are not working. I know it has helped some and I admit it has had little effect on some people too. But it is worth the shot.

You have a reason to try. You deserve happiness and she deserves a chance of normalcy too.