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I am in one 'h' of a situation right now. and the stress of it all is almost unbearable. here's my situation:
the place I am living at right now will probably be sold in the next two months. I have no money, no job, and a severe mental illness that keeps me from that. So now, I have about six weeks to find a new place to live. the biggest problem with that, is I've finally found something that helps make my severe depression 'not as bad'. (and I've been searching for something to do that, like meds/therapy, for over eight years now) and the something that helps happens to be living on a farm out in the country, with open space, a big lawn, and pets outside. the problem is I can't afford that on my own!
my parents are helping out with my bills right now. and I know they've been through a lot over the past few years, helping to support me financially. so how can I ask (or expect) them to pay the big amount it could cost for me to continue living on a farm?! yet for the first time in about eight years, I can actually say I've found something that is 'helping me' (living on a farm)! and I know from past experience that living in an apartment in town in not a 'healthy' thing for me. last time I did that, I just stayed inside like ninety percent of the time.
I don't know what to do. and I am not a confrontational type person, who will stand there and argue with someone until I get my way or my point across. I am a strong introvert! so having these types of conversations with my parents doesn't go well, as I usually end up being the one who gets 'cornered' by their words & actions and I have no quick responses to defend myself. which only makes this whole thing much worse. (btw, my parents and I are not close at all)
i have no idea what to do. do i fight for what i know could help me, even though it would much cost more?? or do i just back down and let the one thing I've been searching for slip through my hands?? do i fall back into a living situation where my depression could possibly consume me?? or do i battle to keep my 'life-line', no matter what the price may be??
the only thing i know for sure is, i can't keep doing this much longer. it takes everything I've got just to keep myself going from week to week. and after many years of searching for something that helps and NOT finding it (like the right meds or therapist...), i am grower weaker and less hopeful by the day!!! so what the 'h' do i do now?!?!
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