So, how do you know if you are posting too much? I see my number of posts going up and I panic—I have tried to pick and choose what I comment on so it does not continue to climb so fast. Do people say, “Oh great, Depressme again?” I have not been a member here very long, but I have been very active. Part of me is afraid that I post too much—maybe people don’t want me to comment so much. Part of this is my insecurity that people don’t really want to hear what I have to say—my thoughts are not worthy of people’s time. Part of me feels “greedy” or something for using this site so much.

I have this fear that admin is going to send me a message telling me I am only allowed to post a certain number of posts per day. Maybe suggest I take a day off. Maybe kick me out or something.

At work I have a computer and I check in to the site throughout the day and then at night I am on my computer doing homework, so I also check in often. My life is centered around my computer. Being able to post about depression, substance abuse, therapy and such has been so healing for me. It really has helped my therapy—it brings up new thoughts and feelings—helps me look at things in novel ways. And at times, when I can be supportive of somebody else, I feel real good about it. I took an inventory and determined that my work and school performance have gotten better since I have joined PC. Maybe having an outlet for my thoughts has helped me focus more on work and school.

I have started a blog, so I can post as much as I want and I think that has been a good outlet for me. But, I have even obsessed about it…I limit my blog posts to one per day, although sometimes I think I’d like to post about 2 topics not just one. So, I am even insecure about my own freakin blog.

I feel compelled to share my story. I feel like I almost “need” to tell people who I am…I feel like I have hidden my life for too long and having the freedom to tell people about it is almost intoxicating (in a good way).

So, I don’t know…anybody else ever feel this way? Am I just being insecure or am I really posting too much?

Sorry this is such a long post, but I’m a graduate student—that’s what we do—we write…and write and write. When we are not writing we are reading…