Thanks canders

Interesting that the groups you were in were set for 9 weeks. This group has no end-date, and some members have been in it for years (I mean, like as long as 5 years). I'd like it better if everyone were new and starting at the same time. I'd rather learn WITH the other members instead of FROM them.

Yeah I have trouble feeling like I'm close to people at all. I always feel like everyone's at arm's length. And I really did want to work on that. But then I got kind of depressed about other things that were going on in my life, and I kind of lost interest and now I feel like it's hard to get back out of this. I don't want to quit the group without telling people good-bye, but I don't feel like talking about leaving either. So I'm just kind of procrastinating. I wish I could just decide to either quit and say good-bye or somehow get all motivated and figure out how to participate.

Yeah it's weird to see my therapist in 2 different environments like this. I don't really like him watching me interact with other people -- I feel horribly self-conscious about it. And he gives me some suggestions on what I should try in group, and I invariably ignore all those suggestions. I don't know why.

No I don't really "click" with anyone there although I do think they're mostly nice people. I guess I just feel out of place because I don't really want to be there. I can make myself go, but I can't make myself WANT to be there. I wish I could. I wonder if I'm just depressed. Or maybe I'm annoyed that I've given my therapist more power over me by letting him see me in situations I don't handle all that well. And I don't like this new power position. I don't know. But every time I start feeling a little positive and thinking of things I might try -- I immediately go back to thinking I should leave. I don't know what my deal is lately.

Sidony