The despair of chronic depression can never be told has its happening because you are not of this world at the time. It creeps up like a thick dense black fog that consumes every fiber of your brain and body. Without meds you will die, you are already dead know one in you family or friend or doctors can penetrate the hold on you. Meds are given has you lie for weeks in bed waiting for one to work only to find it don't so off you go again. You cannot go to hospital has your not a danger to others so who cares. Then you start drink large amounts of booze to knock yourself out of misery . it works at first , and you then think this feeling must be like death so death must be better, Now you feeling turn to death you forget your love ones they don't exist in your damaged head nothing does. If like me after months of this crap, you try death when everyone is asleep you don't care. I was saved and blue lighted to hospital then you begin from the bottom and you will be on the bottom for a long time. HOW WAS I SAVED YOU SAY . not by choise, I happened to drink with a mountain of meds brandy . 10 minutes in and puked the house down waking everyone. if I had just fell asleep then DEAD