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Originally Posted by ace333
we have been together for 6yrs and i know they says things can't and won't always be all lovey dovey but i feel my relationship is extremely laking in the romance department. he never says anything nice or to compliment me unless i " fish for compliments" is how i would put it. for example if i get dressed up to go....crickets, so ill say " how do i look"....the reply " you look good, or you look fine and only on the rarest occasions you look pretty"....he never suprises me with anything be it flowers or candy or even just anything to say " hey i was out and thought of you" he never does anything to help me out, if i ask maybe hey can you take the garbage out or run this to the post office please i get no all the time or some tantrum.....but if he asks me to do the same thing and i refuse i get yelled at....i do everything for him if i have the time to the point i feel ike an unappreciated assistant not a gf.
he never wants to hold hands alone or in public unless i make him in which it only last maybe 5 minuts if not less. barley kiss barely hug....its extremely frustrating....dont even get me started on the practically non exsistant sex life. its like i have to beg and if im lucky its once a month. i could dress up sexy or even be right in front of him nakes most days...and nothing. if i ask if he wants to he gets angry and it starts a fight. i don't feel loved and bring this up to him all the time he tells me im being crazy and why on earth would i think that?.....i wonder....
im not asking for him to be up my ***** with romantics and lovey doveyness, but jeez something here and there would be nice. i have brought this issue to him multiple times in multiple ways and every time i get nothing but push back, attitude, angry, fights and everything possible to make me feel like s**t for wanting these things. i tell him all the time if he doesn't want do these things or recieve them from me then whats the point of even being in a relationship....because its not....again just anger and ignoring things. i try and try and try and get metaphorical kicked into the dirt each. what can i do to make him be more romantic and treat me like he loves me ( which he claims he does) when i don't feel it
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So first question comes to mind, can you tell me what you love about him and what is good about him? I'm not being sarcastic here but honestly asking you to ask yourself that, because it sounds like a very cold relationship to me, at least from your description which is not good.
Second question that I wonder is, you're saying that he gives you nothing in return but the question is, has he ever actually been these things, and was there a point where he was actualy a romantic, giving person? I ask in all seriousness because if he was at one point and it changed, it says one thing and if he never has been, then it says an entirely different thing. Something would cause one to become cold and distant, whether it be mutual, something you did or something that happened to him entirely on his end. That's what I would wonder if it's changed
On the other hand, some people are naturally reserved, i.e., do not show public affection, are not as touchy and verbal. That is not an excuse but just that sometimes early in a relationship there are things that are present that we overlook in the early periods, even years of a relationship that later are things that become problems. We as people tend to do this in the blindness that comes with love sometimes and we make huge provisions for things that should not be acceptable in the first place and especially not for someone we consider long term. I add this because it's my thinking behind whether he's changed or always been this way.
That would be my first thoughts on this, i knwo it's not advice per se at this point but something that I wonder about this relationship.
I'm not condoning his behavior or neglect at all.