Do you model the behavior you want? Like bring him small tokens of affection or tell him he looks nice? Sometimes that seems to help a bit, but when it comes down to it, we can't make someone be more <<whatever>>.

The kind of stuff you are describing is usually just the way a person is. I would try to figure out if I could live with the way he is right now instead of wasting energy trying to make him into something he isn't.