I have BPD and the worst think is delusions.
I see stranger on a bus or somewhere and imagine whole story about him/her thought i even didnt know him/her. There should be only one little thing whick makes this story and its always torturing, i always imagin sometime i hope will never happen. Sometimes i didnt see im lost from rrality, sometimes i know it but i cant do anything to not believe in this. I try to find a reasob why its not true but i cant.
For example i thought that my classmate is in relationships with my therapist, she had a boyfriend with the same first name, she said where he works but i didnt believe her. I wanted to stalk her and look into her phone but i didnt have a choice. I asked questions about her boyfriend everytime i met her. We werent friends.
Similat stupid thoughts haunt me all the tims.
Im afraid to cut or dye my hair and im afraid to make a tattoo because im afraid that it can be the point of changes in my life. Im afraid it can change reality, that it would be a sign for end of relationships which are in crisis for now. Dye hair or make a tattoo on scars is like deleting something and stsrting something you. But i want that all stays the same. I dont want that my haur or tattoo reminds of end if something good.
It controls my life.
I dont know what to do. I know its delusions but i dont know how ti be free.
Im taking meds too. One of them - lamictal helps also with delusions (im not sure but it was written in instruction).
Im afraid to tell about my psychiatrist, im afraid she would put on strong meds and i dont want to have new diagnose

If you have delusions what does help you to see reality?