Hi, mizzrocio, and welcome to Psych Central! Are you thinking your taking meds during pregnancy caused your child's birth defect? If so, then use really good birth control and go back on your meds. You might not be able to breastfeed, though--and it's true that some of these meds can cause birth defects, but only when the mother takes them while pregnant. That's my understanding, anyway.

So, I suggest you start back on your meds and go back into your program.