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Originally Posted by ace333
we have been together for 6yrs and i know they says things can't and won't always be all lovey dovey but i feel my relationship is extremely laking in the romance department. he never says anything nice or to compliment me unless i " fish for compliments" is how i would put it. for example if i get dressed up to go....crickets, so ill say " how do i look"....the reply " you look good, or you look fine and only on the rarest occasions you look pretty"....he never suprises me with anything be it flowers or candy or even just anything to say " hey i was out and thought of you" he never does anything to help me out, if i ask maybe hey can you take the garbage out or run this to the post office please i get no all the time or some tantrum.....but if he asks me to do the same thing and i refuse i get yelled at....i do everything for him if i have the time to the point i feel ike an unappreciated assistant not a gf.
he never wants to hold hands alone or in public unless i make him in which it only last maybe 5 minuts if not less. barley kiss barely hug....its extremely frustrating....dont even get me started on the practically non exsistant sex life. its like i have to beg and if im lucky its once a month. i could dress up sexy or even be right in front of him nakes most days...and nothing. if i ask if he wants to he gets angry and it starts a fight. i don't feel loved and bring this up to him all the time he tells me im being crazy and why on earth would i think that?.....i wonder....
im not asking for him to be up my ***** with romantics and lovey doveyness, but jeez something here and there would be nice. i have brought this issue to him multiple times in multiple ways and every time i get nothing but push back, attitude, angry, fights and everything possible to make me feel like s**t for wanting these things. i tell him all the time if he doesn't want do these things or recieve them from me then whats the point of even being in a relationship....because its not....again just anger and ignoring things. i try and try and try and get metaphorical kicked into the dirt each. what can i do to make him be more romantic and treat me like he loves me ( which he claims he does) when i don't feel it
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there is little you can do..i have found people rarely want to change..you will have to find someone else who will do the things you like. too often we settle for people who are not making us happy because we don't want to be alone or go through the effort of finding someone else.
we make excuses 'what if i find someone worse, etc' at least i know what i am getting with XXX, etc.
we may find someone worse BUT we may Also find someone better. familiarity and comfort allow us to put up with things we know are totally unacceptable, for these things we have only ourselves to blame.
I am not a big fan of being single, but i embrace it now. if i do do another relationship, i won't rush like i did before. i panicked when i broke up with my ex in november and made many mistakes afterward, i put up with a lot of nonsense for 3 and a half yrs and tried again with her for 6 months..she only wanted to change when i wanted out. this was not fair to me and i finally got tired of carrying the relationship.
i still miss the good times and all the good about our relationship..but the bad was just too much, she was mean and insensitive & it hurt when she said things to me without thinking about if they would hurt me or not first..i always did that for her and i could never understand why it was so hard for her to do the same..at times she was distant and aloof..then would accuse me of being that way...well if you keep doing it to me..why shouldn't i give you a taste of your own medicine?
i hung in there for years and i finally got burned out..don't let this happen to you..move on before you become resentful and take it out on your next bf.
hope this helps and good luck
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I have learned that i and i alone am responsible for my happiness, most people these days are as reliable as wet toilet paper!
