Where to start...I got stabilized thru the iop.program at the hospital and was discharged about 5 weeks ago. So during these last 4 weeks I've been taking care of my dying mother. She ended up passing away on June.16th at.1130am. I felt nothing. I didn't cry or shake uncontrollably. I was numb. My mom and I weren't close.cause she wouldn't let that happened. She emotionally abused me my whole life. Then one day I cried for a while but strangely I didn't feel depressed. I felt solid...felt completely stable. Felt.euphoric as strange as that sounds. So I've been feeling on top of the world...rapid thoughts and I came up with a wild idea. I.wanted to have another baby! Even tho my.tubes are tied. Even.tho I'm 44 who had emergency csections twice, even tho I.have some serious mi going on. Even tho I'm on 4.Meds to stabilize me. My.primary dx.is.bp2 with major depression..I.went into therapy today crying my eyes out realizing.that my big idea is.deflating before my eyes. There are so many reasons why it would be not work out. My therapist.and I.believe I've been on a manic spree.with a slu.of.ideas.thoughts and action. I even made the appt at a fertility Dr to have an ivf done. Nevermind that it costs ten grand that I don't have. I've crashed. And crashed hard. I feel so bad it hurts. I.have a teenage daughter who needs me to make dinner and I don't think I can move. Anyone else experience this hypomanic rollarcoaster?.can anyone relate? Please help.

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