this is hard question for me to answer. cuz this has happened to me twice. the first time i was 16 and got sent involuntarily to a residential treatment program that abused me physically and psychologically. i was there for 8 months. i still dont know how i made it thru that. i wanted to kill myself there but there was literally no way to do that because the residents were watched 24/7. even in the shower. that was a very bad experience for me.

i was also committed against my will on christmas eve 2012 by my current T. i was very angry about it until the pdoc at the hospital i was sent to put me on risperdal (i had never been on it before) and it helped me so much he even commented about how much better i looked. it stopped the voices and the paranoia. it saved my life. when i think about my life in the months before T committed me it is very dark. i was financially broke and completely isolated. i was going days without sleeping or eating. one time i was so hungry that i ate dry cat food. another time i was so hungry that i ate a moldy onion raw but i threw it up. i told T about the onion and he tried to give me 10 dollars to buy some food. i had a plan to kill myself on christmas day. i had been saving up my meds and not taking them. so when i got put on the risperdal shot it was like a miracle to me. i had a reason to live again. i wanted recovery and felt hope that it was possible. that was the last time i have been in the hospital. i havent been in the hospital for 1.5 years and counting. before that i was going every 3 months . and its not like i wanted to go there. i fu_king hate the hospital more than anything. i basically had the chocie of going voluntarily or T calling the police. so i chose voluntary each time even though it really wasnt.

so i cant say which one i would choose. i guess im leaning towards forced treatment but i know that is because i am clearly a danger to myself if i am in that state.