my advice: find a good Pdoc, preferably one that does therapy as well as prescription. (I found one like that, I see him once/month for an hour of psychotherapy, and he prescribes my meds too.

I WISH I had done this a long time ago. I just started seeing him a few months ago, and the meds are really helping now that I am up to the therapeutic dose.

It is really hard to self-manage this disease, I did it for YEARS, but it was a struggle. Particularly if I was triggered like you are being triggered now by a possible divorce! If i had a therapist and Pdoc the last time I was heavily triggered, I probably wouldn't have ended up in the ER with extreme scary mania.

Sorry you are going through this.