Your parents will not allow you to see a doctor? Even after your severe symptoms? WTF?

There must be some way you can convince them. To me, that is like your parents refusing to let you see a doctor even if you have a potential deadly disease like cancer, or diabetes or BIPOLAR!
Bipolar is serious and can be deadly!

It sounds very likely that you have this, or some other mental illness, you should show your parents this forum thread after you get a few more responses. Maybe they will realize how serious this disease is. Bipolar has a 20% mortality rate. Do they care about your health and well being?

I hope you show them this post I made. They might not like it, but maybe that will realize they could lose you if they don't allow you to get help.