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I went into a severe depression, followed by a mixed state and landed in hospital when I got divorced. It was really brutal, and very destabilizing. So I really feel for you. I'm around to talk if it helps. I think it's a good idea to connect with a therapist and pdoc right now.
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"Does the body rule the mind, or does the mind rule the body?"
"Those who feel the breath of sadness, sit down next to me. Those feel they're touched my madness, sit down next to me. Those who find themselves ridiculous, sit down next to me."
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