Quote:
Originally Posted by StbGuy
Thanks guys for all the insight. I can recall some instances where people (seemingly) jokingly called me a "pain in the arse" but now I realize they really meant it. I could never understand why people were acting they way they were with me.
I read once that how you see the world and the reactions you get from people are a projection of what is going on inside of you. But, in the case of AS/ASD I find an exception to that. It should actually be defined as a projection of what you portray on the outside. I mean, when people have and portray feelings of hate toward me it is not because I hate them inside. Or, when people just don't seem to care or pretend like I don't exist, it's not because I lack empathy for them inside of me. It's because the condition I have is causing me not to be able to SHOW it/EXPRESS it, hence they believe only what they SEE, sum me up as an asshole, and then treat me accordingly. This is one case where I feel "seeing is believing" does not hold.
Inside I am being hurt more than anyone will know, because I crave interaction. And, I can't show that either.
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Yeah exactly, 'what you see is what you get' really doesn't work too well for us. My dad never understood that, we used to get into a lot of arguments because he'd tell me to "cheer up" or to "clam down" when inside I was perfectly happy or calm but outwardly I didn't show what he expected to see so he thought I wasn't. He constantly uttered an expression which annoyed me "actions speak louder than words", but for me the actions don't come naturally so all I can really do is use my words and if I say I'm happy and enjoying myself then that's how I feel even if my face doesn't necessarily show that. In his defence, I didn't get diagnosed until after he had died so he didn't know any better but I do wish he'd have just taken my word for it.