Glok,
Thanks for the welcome and yes couple's therapy is an option. Well I start on the 11th of July is when I have my appointment. She said she is willing to go if "she is needed" as she sees this as MY issue, not hers, or one she caused. So to help deal with all the demons in my head so to speak (I'm not religious) I am willingly going to counseling.

Hvert,

Thanks for replying. Yeah, if there wasn't the cheating, then absolutely, I wouldn't have even the thought of something happening. It doesn't help there is a half dozen movies related to going on a business trip and they meet in some city for a night of passion or something... thanks a lot hollywood.

Jolisse,

Thanks for replying as well. It is difficult, and even though she was the one that did it, I'm the one with the issue now. Strange how that is. For your instance, if your husband stepped outside the marriage and then you had a perpetual issue with it, it is YOUR fault not his. WTH? I do know that I would be tired of being under a microscope especially after 3 years of "good behavior" not doing anything wrong, not talking to anyone, etc etc.

The poison I refer to is me not trusting her. I want to go back to that not even a thought in my head when she is on these trips. Now all the trips, her business has grown and evolved but I would say in the last 2 years she has been going to professional conferences, and then to support her clients at their events etc. One thing that I have been thinking about, was that I goto therapy and or WE go to therapy, and we resolve the issue of trust or my fear, so that gives her a blank check to "well I'm not under the microscope anymore" thinking along the lines of "the cats away, the mice will play" so that sucks already.

I hope that maybe getting this counseling will bring up something, something that is missing. Something over looked or needed. I mean I have two issues lack of any sexual intimacy and the trust issue. Even that is historically bothersome, reading articles of all of a sudden my husband (or wife) isn't in the mood very often, especially after a business trip or working late at the office, he/she says they are exhausted from the trip. Dear whomever, hate to tell you this.. I know that isn't the reason for her lack of sexual drive, she works from home, and only goes on these trips 2-3-4 times a year. She doesn't pleasure herself as I know whats in the toy box and it has dust on it. However I was monitoring some lube in there, and it seemed to decrease. Hey evaporation right? FML.

Joe