I'm sorry you felt the need to harm yourself. Maybe if you could focus on getting help from outside instead counting on your husband to help you, it might work. I'm sure he cares but some spouses don't understand unless they're going through something themselves. My husband's that way. He's never understood about my depression and borderline personality disorder. He doesn't want to even try and learn. He thinks that only physical problems like diabetes, high blood pressure, etc. are real and serious. He's very uneducated to say the least.

That's why I've had to reach out to others like therapists, group therapy and online sites like this one. Sometimes I call the crisis hotline just to talk to someone because I know it's imperative especially when I feel so bad that I don't want to talk to anyone. That's a tell tell sign. I allow myself to have safety nets in place because I know just having one is too risky.

I've been thinking about you over the last couple of days and have prayed even I'm not known as a praying person. That's not to say that I don't believe in the power of prayer and meditation.

I hope you'll start to feel better soon just because you know there are quite a lot of option these days. No one has to suffer alone.

Please take care and send me a private message if you feel like it.