I could really use some help.
I have been feeling like I don't want to live anymore and nothing has been changing. I've been feeling like this for months.
I've had thoughts recently of ways to get rid of myself but I think about my son and sometimes it stops me from thinking further.
But the pain of my depression and the suicidal thoughts occur weekly.
I've had thoughts several times this week.

I feel like I just want to feel better and it's been years since I have felt better.
I've talked to doctors. My wife yells at my and tells me that if I go into the hospital she will lose her job because she will have to take care of my son full-time.

I don't know what to do. I've been on 4 different medicines over the last few months and none have worked out for me.

It's like everyone is talking me out of going to the hospital but I feel like nothing is working.

Should I still go to the hospital?
I don't want to hurt my son by committing suicide but sometimes I feel like it will be the only way the pain and depression will stop.