Quote:
Originally Posted by wildflowerchild25
Are you in fact against medication? Like are you unwilling to take medication? If so I can see why your doctor would try to go the CBT route. There isn't really another option if you don't want to try an anti psychotic medication.
However it isn't helpful to just tell you the thoughts aren't real. I have had episodes of psychosis and I understand how real the thoughts are. I was absolutely certain that the ER screening person was calling social services on me and having my son taken away at that moment. I was trying to call my mom to tell her not to let my son go with anyone. I was also sure that strangers could read/see my thoughts and that someone out there was trying to get me to kill myself. So I understand how you feel. Simply telling you it's not real isn't going to change your mind.
I am on an antipsychotic but I still get breakthrough thoughts at times. When that happens I have to fact check - I ask a therapist in my program if what I'm thinking sounds reasonable. If she says no, I try to do grounding/breathing exercises to bring myself back to the real and true moment. Then I can usually assure myself of the invalidity of the thought. I suppose that's a little bit like CBT. But I have medication helping me as well.
If you don't think your doctor is taking you seriously, maybe seek a second opinion of another doctor?
But honestly the only way I can deal with my paranoid delusions is to challenge them. There is always a small part of me that is back there saying this is crazy. I have to grab that part and pull it out to the front. No one else can do that for me.
I hope you find some peace.
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I am not very against med. I used to be on topamax, but my dr knows it's too mild for psychosis. She only prescribed it for maintenance of stable period, so I am off it right now. Plus topamax doesn't do anything to me from experience. I was off all med when psychosis came back. Then she started on quetiapine again 25mg, then to 50mg. Then she stopped here. again from past exp, she knows quetiapine isn't as effective as zyrexa so she didn't see the point in giving more quetiapine. I have more problem with zyprexa because it makes me gain weight very fast. I am eating disorder (AN more /BN) so I really resist taking it. All antipsychotic just have this crazy side-effect of weight gain.
I think my symptoms are getting worse. Sometimes I feel so violent like I can kill anyone. The image would be in my head. I tried to kill my dog multiple times. I don't know why. I couldn't control myself. I am scared. It's a govt doc I am seeing, so I can't change to another one. Seeing private is too expensive for my parents.
Feel like no one can help me now. I feel like everyone is against me.
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Bipolar, BPD, ED
increasing med right now: a downhill slope
Seroquel 200mg
Epilim 300mg
Olanzapine 5mg
Amisulpride 50mg (just started trying this)
Clonazepam 1.5mg
Ativan 1mg (PRN)
Zopiclone (Imovane) 10mg
In psychosis and struggling worse with ED
I skip med because I would rather be psychotic than living in the real sucky world
Who can understand?...
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