Antipsychotic makes me gain weight like hell. I have been on quetiapine and zyrexa. Quetiapine isn't as bad but not as effective. Gaining weight makes my ED worse. She knows I wouldn't take zyprexa so she didn't give any. Q isn't effective, so she stopped at 50mg. God. I don't know what to do. I feel I am getting worse and further away. A part says take med. My mind will say it's ok, don't take med, they make you worse. You can simply stay in this state. The latter is winning. I feel something is controlling me. A force.