Do you want to work on your relationships with your daughter or have you given up on that? It sounds like it's painful... and it's probably painful for her to not have you in her life. It sounds like there are some major issues, but I hope that someday you can both get past them... maybe with counselling? It makes me sad when I hear that a mother and daughter don't have a relationship... and it affects the rest of the family too. I would be lost without my mother.