(((Juliana))) I understand the scrupulosity thing. I have issues like that. I used to have special ways to pray, felt guilty if I didn't read the Bible when I was trying to read a chapter every day, etc. It doesn't help when your parents and others instill guilt (not just religious, but that, too) in you and use guilt to control you.

I have "weird" things with my OCD, too, nicole. Many of my therapists have given me strange looks and said they didn't get it. I don't always get it.

I do some things that don't fit in with the way other people with OCD act, or things that seem logical. I obsess about cleanliness, yet I don't clean my house perfectly, nor do I spend hours and hours cleaning. I do wash my hands many times a day. I can touch my boyfriend (but not as much as I used to be), but not other people. I can shop and buy things that other people probably touched (although I do try to take items from the back, so as to avoid things more likely touched by many people), but I don't like anyone touching my stuff, or touching most stuff other people have touched.

I always worry people won't believe me, because of these inconsistencies. And it makes me mad that lawyers and judges usually won't take our unique needs and lives into consideration when we have to turn to the courts. For example, if somebody robs my house, do you think the judge or the police will tell the person he has to buy me a new computer, because I can't touch the one the police gets back, or get a used one? I'd usually get my computer back, even if I can no longer use it. And if I got money for it (like if it were damaged), it would be the value of the computer at the time it was damaged. If I have difficulty meeting obligations because of my OCD, they're not going to accept that. Plus, many courts will force people to take medications, or require it as a choice to get something the person wants, and I feel we shouldn't be forced to put medications in our bodies, because these are OUR bodies. Furthermore, we don't know what those medications might be doing. I used to have breakdowns every month and my heart used to skip beats or something much more. Reducing my meds to near nothing has stopped or reduced those problems. I should be able to make my own decisions about medications, without special conditions being put on them.

But I'm veering off-topic. OCD is hell.