Pinksoil,

Your post was interesting. First of all, you have to trust your conclusions. Because it's only your conclusions that really matter, right? However, I don't think it's so unusual for women to choose men who are a few years older than them. Really, 15, 16 17 year old girls are years ahead of boys their own age who are so immature. I have a strong regard for my T (a guy) but had a very difficult relationship with my father when he was alive. In fact, I hated him for many many years. I had a T who was a woman many years ago and never thought I would be able to work with a male T but now I am and it's a really good relationship. So, I am confused as well. Accepting the anger and love simultaneously is our biggest challenge and one that I am working on a well. For me, it is difficult to release the anger because I am afraid of it. By the way, I have never cried in front of my T either, feelng too embarrassed for that degree of emotion. Anyway, I hope to be able to someday.