I too had only ever known about the euphoria of manic episodes. I was blown away when I learned last week that irritability/aggression was also part of mania. This is my scariest symptom also. I actually get so mad my vision gets blurred and my words actually get choked when I try to speak them. I had no idea this was part of my disorder. I've learned that repeating a breathing mantra is super helpful for me to see straight again. Sorry to hear your suffering this, research ways to help you maintain yourself while this is happening, that's what I did and these periods have become much more manageable.