When I had my car accident, many many years ago, I had to spend a lot of time ( years) at hospitals most of the time, having surgeries, unsuccessful treatments, a lot of physical pain. At a certain point I made the decision to live the present moment, trying to develop fulfilling relationships even at the hospital, enjoying simple moments like not to have pain, to be able to remain seated without passing out, etc, etc, and not to worry about tomorrow, despite the future did not look promising. Now I do not have that drive. Perhaps I am just tired, because I have struggled much in life.