I don't know. When it happens I am always looking for some negative trigger as an explanation. I don't know that there is one.

Clara22 I had not thought of that. The ups have definitely been due to the meds. But the meds have allowed me to do things that would naturally help with depression. Like doing some work, social things, ordinary life things.

The first one happened on Sunday afternoon on Easter. They seem to for sure happen at the end of some event or completion of a task. Like I had a bad one after I completed a road trip across the country with my daughter. When I got back to Michigan I crashed. The latest is after finishing a good side job last week and having a good weekend and then playing a couple of rounds of golf with my dad and uncle a couple of times, then crash.

Definitely related to that. It is like a big come down and whats next. The more I think about it that is what is triggering it. I all of a sudden have nothing to do and worry worry about my future. I was supposed to have two more jobs coming up but I am relying on people to do their part and they are not doing it. I have no control over it. In my field of plumbing there are always side jobs available but they come and go. Events come and go. Normal fluctuations of life. I seem to not be able to handle the whats next times.

I could anticipate those times and plan something. I have plenty of other things I need to get done. Self motivation is a huge problem for me even when at my best. My best is normally mild to moderate depression although lately it has been better than that. I find it very difficult to self plan and self motivate but I think that may solve the problem.